Sunday, July 19, 2015

Thresholds, a poem

Thresholds upon thresholds
Under which my flesh holds
Tightly to my bones, surviving
Though not quite thriving
As I slowly walk alone
On this large spinning stone
Searching for a Home.

An Intern Prepares by Riley Shtanishlavskihan

Introduction: A Brief and Honest History

In 1936 Constantin Stansislavski of the Moscow Art Theatre published a book called An Actor Prepares, which became lauded as one of the first versions of "stage acting for dummies."

Chapter 1: The Nitty and The Gritty Tid Bittys of Theater Intern-ing

Since I have had a lot of experience in the past year being an acting intern in professional theaters in Seattle, I thought it was about time to pass on my wisdom of this complex art to the next generation.  After all, I am twenty-three years old and have already worked two jobs free of charge right after college...my parents (though they don't show it) must be really proud of my arts degree so far.

Now, it takes many things to become an intern.  First, you need to know how to brew coffee.  See, if you don't know how to do this task, don't even bother coming out for the job.
Second, you need to be asked to do the internship by someone who works at a theater company.  To do this, you need an EMAIL ADDRESS...I learned this one the hard way!

I know what you're probably thinking: he is moving way to fast, this is just too much information to take in all at once!  I know--it becomes pretty overwhelming being an intern but with my guidance and with 3 easy payments of $9.99, you can learn how to master the art of working free forever.

At the end of each chapter, I'll have discussion questions for your book club to review what we've learned thus far:
1. If I don't have an email, is there another way to contact people that doesn't involve hi-tech?
2. If I know how to steep tea but not brew coffee, am I out of the running for an intern job?
3. What is the average retirement age for theater interns?
4. If I land the internship and one of the leads in the show starts talking to me for some reason, do I address them as I would the Queen of England or the Czar of Russia?  In short, do I bow or do I shake their hand?

All this and MORE in chapter 2!