SAT

If a train from Albuquerque is headed north at 30 miles an hour while a train from Reno falls in the woods, did it make the SATs seem a little more relevant?

That small blue room in that big yellow house

I miss that small blue room in that big yellow house--18 full years.

Smells 

Memories

Tastes 

Desires 

Compulsion

Confusions

Loves

Raids

Rage

Heart 

Compassion

Futility 

Impotence 

Idealism 

Letter-writing 

Re-arranging 

Martian landing 

Understanding 

Legos 

Tacs on the ground 

Sports posters 

Band posters 

Crayola films 

Playmobile 

Map of The Shire 

My Shire 

My Home 

My Own 

Now in a different yellow (ish) house in a (very) different hood in a (still) different blue room trying to piece together fears and joys and the space in between.  

Lust 

Love

Fear

Hope

Denial

Change 

Aggression

Repression

Obsession 

The Human impulse to return to a new but (monumentally) different town from which I'm from. 

To flee where people will forget about me. 

To convince myself my current state "isn't that bad."

What happened to those dreams from that perfect blue room in that lovely yellow house.  

The characters of a life that were tried in in play.  

The rythm of a life that we made up in a jingle.  

The infinite yet actually and simultaneously finite reality that existed in that special space where instead of life happening to me, I happened to life.  

It didn't see it coming.  

The Dreams that came from that play toy train with the little felt trees that blew in the fake breeze created by my mouth to simulate a world, a microcosm, a universe of possibilities.  

The thing that life cannot live without is play.  Life would be miserable if silliness was outlawed--we'd all turn into Cowboys making each other laugh with squirt guns like bootleggers escaping the law in this new universe we created with a new sun.  

So whether I'm in a big yellow house in s small blue room or a tiny grey room in a small apartment or a train car in the middle, or in the middle of a rainy day of the soul--

That small blue room in that big yellow house will always travel along with me.