excrement.

Don't you get tired of people giving you answers to life in the form of "oh that's just how it is" or "oh that's life"?

Because those statements are complete bullshit that mean absolutely nothing.

Things are the way they are because we make them that way.

Life is the way it is because we make it so.

Life is life because we call it life.

I am even tired of myself that I am still talking about this.  I fell like Holden Caulfield because too much of what we do is just complete bullshit.  We're all phonies.

I talk like this to people I care about trying to reach some pseudo, half-way satisfying conclusion to all this nonsense and it always seems like they are trying to talk me off a ledge, like I am committing some sort of suicide by having these thoughts of revolt and following through with them.

But that's the whole damn point-- these thoughts and actions of revolt are the very things that keep me from committing actual suicide and these are the very things that make me original.  Why would I water that down?  And I say 'suicide' and everybody jumps outta their seats and calls a hotline.  Don't do that for me.  This is where I go mad: we are saying the same thing, we have the same general hopes and dreams with our lives (fail less; do cool things more).  We're just talking about 2 different ways to get there, is all.  Both options can be brilliant!  It depends on a person's perspective.

But this is totally where I lose my marbles because I have not found a way of explaining this point in conversation.  I lose myself and become mad and depressed thinking that all of the people telling me the same damn thing of "oh that's just life"..."that's just the way it is" are right.

They are not.  They are wrong.  

And what the fuck?  Every beautiful thing or movement was created out of some kind of rage--that is how we get work done because there is something wrong with the current system that needs fixing.

Yes, there is something wrong with the current system and it must be fixed or annihilated entirely.  Explode the status quo with the last of our atom bombs, we'd get rid of two problems at once.

And don't tell me to calm down.

David Mitchel wrote: "revolutions are the sheerest fantasy until they happen, then they become historical inevitability."

 _________________

And we watch these movies like Les Mis and we say "oh that's nice."  But we don't internalize the meaning.  Is it not the point of art but to elicit a response that demands action?  Not mere contemplation or a case of the cutes ("oh, that was cute").  That is shallow and worthless.  Gah!  It's so obnoxious.

We watch movies and we have this odd, morose jealousy of the characters thinking: "Ah...my life could never be that magical..."

What?
WHAT?!?

THAT'S THE WHOLE DAMN POINT!

THOSE CHARACTERS DON'T EXIST.

YOU EXIST AND YOU ARE ALLOWED TO ACT.

YOUR LIFE IS THAT MAGICAL
                                      COOL
                                      FUNNY
                                      INTERESTING
                                      ET-fuckin'-CETERA


You just have to train your eye to see all the cool shit in it.  And you don't do this by going to school and having some learned professor tell you how to think and to feel--no.  You can only find it on your own.  There is no test to pass.  No hurdles to jump through.  Just yourself.  Nobody sees the world the way you see it.  And what you see in your individual world is fucking marvelous--it is.  We (myself included) need to pay more attention to what is directly in front of our faces for therein lies our answer.

And I'm not trying to sit up here behind my computer and say I'm Ghandi or Steve Jobs or anything because shit, they had problems too and they were not gods but we treat them that way.  They simply saw a problem that needed fixing and fixed it.  They were humans who accomplished amazing things simply because they broke down the walls of the norm, of the status quo.  Simply by doing that alone, they had an opportunity to see the world like nobody else, they indulged their phenomenology.  If the rest of us followed suit with some bravery, the world would be more inviting, inventive, and inclusive.  There is only a "way" of doing things because we say that there is. 

What if there is something inherently in you that needs to be created but it is being thwarted by the fact that you don't have time to think or to feel your own thoughts or emotions because you are constantly doing someone else's work?  What if you simply needed the time to create what is naturally in you?  Taking that time, of course, means being brave (or stupid...you decide) enough to leave your comfortable job or your safe schooling and discover what is in you that must be a part of the world.  What MUST you do?  What MUST you create?

Live the life in which you've imagined and don't listen to the haters or critics because those are the same people who tried exactly what you are doing now and gave up and succumed to bullshit words like:

supposed to
should
would
only if

Fuck that nonsense.  Throw it out the goddamn window of your soul, into yr lower intestine and let it be digested until it reverts to its original state:

excrement.